The Red Velvet Lawyer

Pioneer in Field  Discusses Five Impasse Breaking Techniques This week, I was very fortunate to interview nationally known mediator, Bob Creo, for one of my webinars for my online course: Mediation with Heart: Web-Based Training for Change Agents .  I launched the online course in mid-May. This interview was the first one in which I used the expertise of a leader in the field to enhance the learning experience for my students.  It was such a great experience, I plan to record more webinars with leaders in the field.  The link to the replay of the webinar is here .  Don't miss this opportunity to learn from a master.  Creo's Background Bob Creo is a pioneer in the field of dispute resolution having begun his career as a neutral in 1979, long before courts began to adopt court-connected ADR programs. Accordingly, he has several decades of experience as a practicing mediator, arbitrator, and special master.   He continues...

Celebrating my "Silver Jubilee" I took three weeks off this summer to travel with two friends for my "silver jubilee" celebration of my 60th birthday.   We drove across the U.S. to the redwood forests of Northern California, then caught up with two alumni in Lake Tahoe, then spent three days in Yosemite. The trip reinforced many ideas I have.  First, we live in a land of great abundance: cropland, trees, natural beauty, wildlife, energy resources, and people. Second, money is just a form of energy according to my business coach, Christine Kane . The happiness experts advise to buy experiences and not stuff, if you want to be happier.  So, I tried to circulate as much money as possible on this trip to buy memorable experiences: nicer hotel stays, expensive meals, excellent wine, and a boat ride on Lake Tahoe. I want to thank my friend, Carol, who could not join us, for giving me a very big check that enhanced my ability to spend during this t...

Web Tools  That Make  the Negotiation Easier After graduating from law school and joining the largest law firm in Oklahoma, I bought my first new car.  It was a Toyota Camry.  Beforehand, I thoroughly read and applied the advice found in a book on buying a new car.   Today, the web puts you a few clicks away from very good advice on the subject.  This morning, I found this site offered by CNN Money on Tips for Buying a New Car .  It offered advice on a number of topics: Buying the right car Determining your car budget Buy ing a new or used car Should you buy or lease a new vehicle Shopping for car loans and credit Setting your target car price Negotiating   a car deal Closing the deal on a new car More vehicle negotiation options The page on setting your target price was especially helpful. It cited sources of objective criteria that  equalize the negotiating power of the parties.  First, it gives you...

Reason for My Preference for Used SUVs? Last week, as I pondered where this series was headed, I asked my Dad to describe all the cars he had owned in his life.  The three things that his description made clear was this.  First, the cars were often used. Second, they were always very utilitarian. They hauled people and things.  Third, my parents drove them into the ground before they bought something new (or newer). So, here's my Dad's narrative. Photos show model and style, but not necessarily the color of his cars.  The Single Guy's Car Okay, before I was married, I had a [used] 1938 Chevy that I had overhauled professionally then salvaged replacement fenders and a steering gear from the local junkyard and installed them myself.  I paid good money for a sun visor that mounted above the window on the outside.  Of course, the fenders did not match the body so I used a brush and exterior paint to paint the whole damn thing brush-streaked b...

The Beloved Bug Which brings me to the mindset limitations I've had to face about cars.   My parents started married life driving a new VW bug.  It may have been one of the first imports to the U.S., which seem to have started in about 1956, two years after my birth.  It was beige with a beige interior.    I drove it as a teenager.  The battery sat on the back floor on the driver's side. Eventually, the floor rusted out. One day, as I was driving the bug to high school, the battery fell out on the street. Undaunted, my Dad cut a piece of shelving board long and wide enough to cover the hole in the floor, and I continued to drive the car until I left for college.   I earned a reputation for two things while driving that car.  I learned to back up long distances. (Perhaps this is one reason I find the rear-collision inducing design of the cross-over styling so irksome. It makes me a less proficient back-up driver!)   And, being eve...

You Betcha!   Not so Much. On the morning of July 4th, I headed to the Tri-Cities Mazda dealership. Shelly Fair, "Sales Consultant," saw me in the lot, walked out of the building, and greeted me with a warm smile and handshake.  She established rapport quickly, but gently, asking about my interests and needs.  Which car did I find attractive? Why?  What needs was I trying to meet? Interest and Needs Most cars today are well-built, well-designed, high-functioning pieces of technology. Even the more poorly rated vehicles would be just fine to own and drive. So, choosing a car requires focus on the attributes and features that, frankly, fall in what I'd call "lifestyle choices." Surprisingly, I was looking to downsize from a 6-cylinder to a 4-cylinder engine.   Recently, I got my fifth speeding ticket. After I was no longer "madder than a wet hen," it occurred to me that I had gotten every darn one of them since I bought the zi...

Bargaining Between  Sophisticated Negotiators I've decided to replace my 2005 Nissan Murano with a newer model, used car.  I applied all the rules of interest-based and distributive bargaining that I teach in my course.  I plan to blog about the experience over the next several days.  Background: People hate shopping for cars.  We are not a "haggle" culture.  It's the reason that Saturn's "no-dicker-sticker" proved to be such a popular selling technique.   Studies show that U.S. buyers tolerate about 3 or 4 rounds of bargaining.  In contrast, people living in haggling cultures will engage in 10 to 15 rounds of bargaining.  Guess who typically gets the better deal? Because we lack experience in bargaining for small things like food and clothing, bargaining for an expensive car brings great anxiety to most people in the U.S. But, I teach negotiation.  In fact, I am one of the very few law professors in the U...