The Red Velvet Lawyer

Be Like Jerry Seinfeld As I get older, I think I get better at keeping promises to myself, although as a 7 on the enneagram , it is never easy. As a 7, I run from the pain.  I search for more immediate pleasures rather than the pleasures achieved by meeting a long-term goal. Some of the promises I want to keep this year are to: Complete two law review articles for publication. Exercise four times a week with my accountability buddy, Heidi. Blog at least once a week. Complete research on the status of ADR in the Arab Gulf region. Eat and drink more mindfully in a way that supports my health. Save more money now that I am through my transition to Doha. Learn to speak Arabic. I need a few gimmicks (aka strategies) to help me keep those promises. I've collected many of them in a book I like to call my coaching journal.  It keeps the highlights from various self-help books I have read since moving to Doha. Right now, it houses tips from

Goal Setting Words for 2017 When I announced that I planned to move to Qatar, I got one or the other responses.  Nothing in between.  The first response reflected fear: " I could never do that."  The second response looked beyond fear: "What a great adventure!" In truth, how many 61-year old women sell all their stuff and move to an Arab country?  Admittedly, not many. But, never in that process -- something I blogged about in my 2015 "Countdown to Qatar" series -- was I afraid of the choice I was making.  In fact, I was running towards that new life.  Running. At one point -- in the selling, moving, packing, storing, and pitching process -- I looked at my personal assistant, Brenda , and said: " All I have to do is just get there!"  Just get through the chaos of transition. Get there.  Everything would be fine. Better, in fact. Much better. And, I was right. The theme of this post is finding three words that remind me of

In Search of Goal Setting Words for 2017 Starting in 2014, I began picking three words to remind me of my goals for the year.  Chris Brogan gave me the idea.   Here is his post on the topic.  In 2014 , I picked:  Robin, launch, and wealth. In 2015 , I picked:  Well-being, manifestation, and love.  Last year, I must have completely forgotten about the goal-setting exercise in the midst of my hectic transition to Qatar. But, now that I am settled and content in my new location, it is time to find three new words for 2017. I first though about fierce , physical , and fire .   These words reflected my response to the Trump election, but also recognized my commitment to health and well-being.  This week, I started my 19th consecutive week of fitness training. My friend, Heidi, and I meet at 6:30 a.m. four times a week. I swim for 20 or 30 minutes in a 16 meter pool.  She runs.  Then, we lift for another 45 minutes.   This emphasis on fitness

Wishing You  the Best in 2016! Yes, I am back to blogging after a five month transition to a new part of the world, a new university, new students, a new home, and generally a new lifestyle.  I plan to catch up on some of the experiences I have had in Doha.  I have shared some of them on Facebook, but without much commentary or the perspective that comes with being here for several months now. It is still a very great adventure that I am holding gently in my mind, heart, and hands.   Many of my expat friends here have posted reflections on Facebook today about their own experiences during 2015. They often talk about the surprise they still hold for making the transition to Doha from places all over the world.  Few expected to be here a year ago.  They talk about the challenges of change.  But, also the importance of the journey of growth, self-discovery, and service. They talk about what you shed to be able to put on this new skin.  About a year

Making Higher Aspirations a Part of Your Life In December, I shared a goal setting strategy focused on picking one (or three) words for the year. Yesterday, I ran across this collection of other goal setting strategies .

Successful Growth Requires that You "Outlearn" Your Peers I've spent the last few days catching up on blog posts, my favorite shows on Hulu, and the New York Times, all of which I missed while spending a week in Dubai on vacation. One blog post really stuck with me as I was working on my goals for next yea r. In a post called, In 2015, Be the Best at Getting Better , author Dharmesh Shah talked about the simple commitment of being the best at getting better.  He explains: [C]ommitting to a one-time goal like learning to code or dropping 10 pounds can get lost amid the rush, assigned a lower priority, or just become uninteresting after a time.  A commitment to becoming the best at getting better requires only a fundamental admission that you’re not perfect and a desire to outlearn your peers on a daily basis. I love that!  I can handle that sort of personal and organizational commitment for 2015.  I can apply it to all my goals -- whether well-being, manifes

Live with Heart Last Year’s Words A year ago, I shared the three words I wanted to represent my goals for 2014. They were: Robin, Launch, and Wealth.  So, how did I do? Robin was a bit of a miss. I had wanted it to remind me to work towards greater fitness. But, year-long problems with my orthotic shoes, which compensate for a fused ankle and heel, made regular exercise difficult without access to an indoor swimming pool. Yes, I launched my web-based mediation training program – Mediation with Heart -- and got terrific feedback from enrolled students. Now, I need to implement my marketing program in connection with it. Yes, I generated more wealth and cash flow. I also shared more of that wealth with others throughout the year. Words for 2015 It’s time to select three words for 2015. Surprisingly, this process has not come easily this year.  Well-being came early to mind – both emotional and physical. I recently completed a book recommen

Creating  Your Own  Future Chris Brogan, one of the bloggers I follow who gives advice to entrepreneurs, offered this advice in his E-zine today: I’m asking myself a bunch of recurring questions every single morning, and all throughout the day: * What’s my vision of myself and my business and how will I make that real today? * If I say I am ____ (this kind of person), then what does that look like in action DAILY? * What can I do to change reality towards what I want it to be? What, specifically, can I change to make the world come closer to matching my vision? These are huge questions, but they are business questions, they are life questions, they are the questions of an owner. They are not “how do I get the boss to notice me” questions. They are “how do I get the UNIVERSE to do what I want it to do” questions. * * * Your year is made up of days, and those days must be treated like your only hopes and chances exist within them. So, I will quit watching e

Enhance Your Willpower  and  Reach Your Goals Robert Hatch, owner of Human Business Works , a business coach, and an author, sent me some advice this morning on making and achieving New Year's Resolutions. I can sum it up with a quote from Wayne Dyer:  "Once you begin working on your problem areas with small, daily, success-oriented, goals, the problems will disappear." What I like about Hatch's iteration of the way you must operate to reach a specific goal is the acknowledgement that we only have a certain limited reserve of willpower. He is so in to the idea, he eats the same thing for breakfast every morning. It limits the drain of will power and reduces, by one, the decisions he must make as entrepreneur through the rest of the day.  Ok, not me.  But, interesting. For the science on willpower, take a look at this Stanford School of Medicine blog .  Two things can enhance your reserve of willpower: Meditation and regular exercise, partly because

Robin, Launch, & Wealth During the past month, I've talked about goal setting twice: here and embedded here .  I just found this interesting discussion on how one successful entrepreneur works with goal setting.  Among other things, he picks three words to guide him over the next year.  They help keep him focused on his priorities. Take a look here .  I'll wait. For 2014: My three words for 2014 are these: Robin :  I am referring to Robin Wright Penn, the actress who plays the wife, Claire Underwood, to Kevin Spacey's character, U.S. House Majority Whip Frank Underwood, in the TV series, House of Cards .  As Claire, she portrays a strong, independent, ambitious, powerful, effective, kind-hearted, stylish, and fit woman who is trying to change the world through her non-profit foundation.  This, folks, is what we all want "50" to look like (even if she is actually 47).  Robin, the actress, has been choosy about the projects she will do and t

Designing Your Future My business coach, Christine Kane , recommended the book : A Happy Pocketful of Money: Infinite Wealth and Abundance in the Here and Now . The book suggests developing a list of 5,000 goals. In private law practice, I annually set goals and then reviewed them at year end.  For each goal that I put at the top of my priority list, I identified what I needed to do by the end of the next -- six months, three months, and one month -- to meet it by year end.  I then set smaller steps to that goal each day and week. With very few exceptions, I met my prioritized goals and also many that were lower on the list. Just by listing the goals, you bring them into awareness.  Then: "Energy flows where attention goes." For over two years, I have been using a tool Christine Kane calls the "Sunday Summit."  It functions as a weekly reflection and planning tool.  On the first page, I answer the following reflective questions -- every Sunday: Wha